30 Funny Things to Write on a Dry Erase Board

There are several funny things you can write on a dry erase board. This article will be providing 30 ideas with which you can create yours.

You can include puns that are not necessarily funny but found clever. You can also make it seem like the dry erase board is making a funny statement at whoever’s reading or trying to erase.

One of the funniest things you can write on a dry erase board is ‘Why do you have to rape me all over and erase the evidence.’

This statement refers to whoever will be writing next on the board and trying to erase whatever’s already written on it. It also uses the ‘voice’ of the board.

Table of Contents

Below are 30 funny things to write on a dry erase board.

Hold on! Before you erase me, what does it matter?

Here is a funny thing to write on a dry erase board where it seems like the writing is speaking to whoever is trying to get it clean. It’s best to play this joke on your teacher.

If you are a student and you have a pretty nice teacher who wouldn’t send you out of the class over this little joke, then you can consider writing this on the board before the class begins.

You’ll definitely get everyone cracking up, including the teacher if he/she isn’t in too much haste to read.

The short write-up asks a question concerning how important it is to have it erased during or before the class.

I’m not short and fat. Just horizontally inclined… but let’s not do calculations

I present another funny joke you can write on a board. This can be read from the perspective of the writer or just the board.

In other words, the write-up is either referring to whoever wrote the statement as an excuse for his limited height and fatness or referring to the board which is rectangular and horizontal. The added phrase suggests the write-up isn’t sure.

The first sentence suggests that you don’t want to be called short by giving an excuse for your short height.

The second sentence suggests you admit to being fat but with a different definition, implying you also don’t want to be called fat.

The final sentence suggests you are not sure of what you are saying and you just may be square in shape.

When mates make fun of you and others laugh, it can hurt you. However, when you join them in making fun of yourself, the laughter ceases to matter.

Take out the log in your eyes first, you stinky!

This is a metaphoric joke for your dry erase board which may not be understood immediately it is read.

It alludes to a popular statement in the bible about removing the log in one’s eyes before the speck in a neighbor’s eyes.

The write-up is in the board’s ‘voice’ to whoever is trying to erase what you’ve written on the board.

With this short explanation, it should be very easy to understand the joke. The person has to be cleaning the board for a reason.

The board is talking back, saying he/she should clean himself or herself before thinking of cleaning the board.

You only rub me when you’re in the mood. I’ve got feelings too.

One of the best ways to introduce a joke in this kind of situation is with the use of innuendos. This statement will be perceived as one made by the board as a reaction to whoever tries to erase what you have written on it.

This joke takes a sensual twist. Here is a joke where the board is feeling hurt because it enjoys being rubbed with the duster but it doesn’t always get that desired treatment since people only rub it clean when they feel the need to use it.

You can write this on your class board before a class. Whoever reads this write-up on the board before cleaning will definitely understand the joke.

Are we really doing this today? Really?

This is a regular statement that could mean anything but can be given a special twist if you draw a pair of eyes and a full face on the board.

This joke is funnier if written on the board before a class. It would probably be found mischievous and disrespectful so it’s advisable to make sure you are not identified as the culprit.

By drawing a face on the board, you are making it appear as though it’s the board complaining about the needlessness of this class.

Adulthood is a trap. I still can’t get down from this wall.

Here is a metaphoric joke you can write on a dry erase board. ‘Adulthood is a trap’ is a quite popular statement that will be understood by most adults. The second sentence however is the joke.

Like most children, I thought adulthood would be a better world to live in and you must have thought so too. However, adulthood doesn’t take too long to prove itself as a world of terror. It’s a statement that most adults can relate to.

The second statement implies that the whiteboard is talking to whoever’s reading. The whiteboard is claiming to be a victim of adulthood who has been nailed on the walls ‘by adulthood’.

Rub me till I come clean

This is another metaphoric joke that uses a sensual innuendo to inspire humor. The use of ‘rub’ and ‘come’ in the same sentence will be sending a naughty signal to whomever has prior knowledge of what they mean sensually.

In modern tunes, there is hardly a person who doesn’t understand what ‘rub’ and ‘come’ means sensually, as several vulgarities now float around. Only well-protected children are temporarily safe from this knowledge.

You can write this on a board in a class of grown-up students. This statement is written in the voice of the board telling whomever is trying to erase your writing to keep rubbing and ‘pleasuring’ it.

While this statement can be interpreted as obscene for a class, it can also be interpreted as an innocent voice of the board asking to be made clean. The vulgarity is implicit but not implicit enough to not be understood when read at first.

You look tired. Give up

This is a funny statement for your dry erase board because it is contrary to what anyone would expect to hear in a class and contrary to what most people write on a dry erase board.

Most board jokes are wordplays and most writings on the board are for motivation.

This statement however isn’t as discouraging as it seems. When it’s written on the board, it doesn’t refer to anyone so no one should feel attacked by it.

It will be found funny since most people expect a motivational or funny statement on the board while this goes the contrary.

There shall be no more postponement of classes… starting next week.

This is a nice joke you can make as a teacher if the situation of the class matches. This can also be used as a random joke.

This joke makes use of antithesis. While the first statement is against postponement, the second sentence voices out the intention of the speaker to postpone.

You can write this on your class board as a student even if the situation doesn’t match. However, it’s funnier if you’ve been dealing with postponement of lectures.

I don’t procrastinate. I won’t do it at all.

This is a cool joke to write on your dry erase board with implicit irony. While the irony may not be clear from the words, a listener would be expecting the opposite of the second statement.

It is popular to write motivational quotes on the board. The statement also starts like one that’d be motivational.

You can imagine a motivational speaker saying the first line. Everyone would expect something inspiring to come after.

However, the following statement is contrary to what the listeners would be expecting. The same applies in this case.

The irony of the statement should crack anyone up.

Hi, Jane. This is Dishes on the phone. I’m not in a rush but when do you plan to do me?

Write this like a text message on the white board and you’ll get everyone cracking up. This would be nice in a home setting but you probably wouldn’t be having a white board at home.

This is a funny text from the dishes in the kitchen sink, asking Jane for when she plans to wash them and explaining that they are not trying to pressure her.

This is a nice joke that you can write on the board, even though it doesn’t relate to the class setting. You can also use a classmate’s name instead of ‘Jane’.

If you happen to have a whiteboard in your home for any reason, you can write this on the board and use the name of a sibling or your child.

I used to be the most indecisive person I know… now, I’m not so sure about that

Funny Things to Write on a Dry Erase Board

This is another nice joke for your dry erase board, inspiring humor with the use of implicit antithesis.

The use of ‘used to’ in the first statement suggests that the adjective being mentioned no longer applies to the subject that it qualifies. The second statement however proves us wrong.

The statement is written in the tone of a subject who believes he/she used to be very indecisive and must be thinking otherwise. However, the second statement implies that he/she can’t decide whether or not the first statement is true.

This is hilarious because the speaker is clearly still indecisive over a trivial matter.

Do it!

This sounds motivational but, while being just two words, it can seem very intimidating. This will be found funny by anyone who feels judged by it.

While this is not exactly a motivational statement, it is a call to action, even though the particular action is not stated or known.

You will feel judged by this if you are reluctant to do something. It may not make you take the step but it should be amusing.

I’d call the cops on you if I had rights in America- Board.

Here is a funny joke from the perspective of the board. You know how we grab dusters and force them all over the board just so we can get the poor guy dirty again?

Well, the board isn’t happy about it and would report us to the police if he could.

This statement may be difficult to understand if you don’t indicate that the Board is the one speaking. Otherwise, a reader would assume someone is expressing his/her feelings on the board.

Do your thing, boss!

“Do your thing, boss” is a simple statement that would be hilarious when imagined as the voice of the board. You can draw a sad face on your class’s white board and write this on it. You can also just write this and indicate that it was uttered by the board.

This will be found hilarious by whomever is trying to use the board. He/she would probably feel guilty for having to do something that he/she has to do i.e. erase and write something else on the board.

You think you can rub me and go scot-free? I’ve all day. Hehe

This is a maniacal joke to play in your classroom if you have graduated the previous day. You can play this as your final mischief in the school.

Get a permanent marker or ink that’s difficult to wash clean and write this on the board. You can also write random words all over the board.

You can write ‘Hehe’ or ‘I’ve all day’ all over the board so whoever needs to use the board has to do a lot of work.

This will probably be considered more crazy than hilarious but you’ll get people cracking up.

I think I’m clean enough but thanks.

“I think I’m clean enough, but thanks” is another nice joke from the perspective of the angry board who wants to be left alone. Whoever has to use the board will need it to be clean so this joke will definitely hit.

You can draw a stubborn or angry expression on the board to show that it’s the board reacting. You can also just write this statement and indicate that it’s the board speaking.

When the user has to clean the board, he/she will definitely crack up unless he/she is in too much haste to read what you wrote on the board.

Here, the board is expressing its desire to be left alone, claiming it’s already clean.

Hold on! Don’t do this to me.

This is another funny joke from the perspective of the board. Draw a sad or frightened face on the board beside this statement to show that it’s the board’s voice.

To make the joke clearer and easier to understand, instead of ‘Don’t do this to me, you can rewrite it as ‘Don’t rub me with that thing’.

While the rewritten statement is much clearer, it may still be difficult to understand or unfunny if the reader isn’t trying to clean the board.

This will be a better joke if the board needs to be used and must be clean so you can write this on the board before a class starts.

I’d ask you to listen to me if I weren’t just as dumb

Funny Things to Write on a Dry Erase Board

Here is a beautiful joke with an implicit insult to the reader. This can be read from the perspective of the board. It can also be perceived as a random joke like other wordplays and motivational quotes.

Drawing a sad face on the board would help to indicate that it’s the board speaking. While the statement implies that the speaker is ‘dumb’, it is an insult to whoever is reading this.

By indicating the board as the speaker, ‘dumb’ will be interpreted as the inability to speak. However, the use of ‘just as dumb’ implies that the reader is also ‘dumb’ and the word will be interpreted differently.

Somebody help! He’s armed… and he’ll rub me

Draw a scared face on the board to complete this joke. This joke is a beautiful one that’ll crack many up but the laughter won’t be proper if someone isn’t trying to rub the board clean.

Here, the board is calling for help. It can see the other person’s duster trying to rub it clean and the board doesn’t want that. This will crack the person up.

I’m not idle. I’m busy napping.

This is a funny use of antithesis. You can write this as a random joke on your dry erase board. You can also use it to call attention to someone sleeping in the class before waking him/her up.

If you are a teacher, this would be a really good joke for your class when you find a student napping. Just write this before asking him/her to be woken up. Even the person will be cracked up by this.

That writing thingy tickles me.

By drawing a face on the board, you make it clear to the reader that the board is speaking.

The board is communicating how it feels about the market or whatever is being used to write. Not many people like being tickled so you can let the drawn face reflect however the board feels.

Look away! I’m naked.

A white board in a classroom will continue to pull eyes so you’ll have a lot of people to amuse.

You can draw a judgmental pair of eyes by this writing to make it funnier m

If you don’t mind, I’d like to be left alone today

This may be perceived as the actual feeling of whoever wrote it but you can avoid that by indicating that it’s the voice of the board.

This would be very funny if you could write it on the board before a class where the board must be used.

Please, don’t think I’m a complete moron. I’m still missing some parts.

Here is another cool joke which is ironic in nature. It starts like a motivational statement, asking not to be called a moron by anyone, but proceeds to state something completely hilarious.

The second statement added implies that the speaker considers himself or herself a moron but not so much of it.

I’m not clumsy. Everything just gets in my way.

Jot this nice joke so you can fix it on the next white board you stumble upon. This achieves human with the use of implicit antithesis.

While the first statement implies that the speaker is not clumsy, the second one gives a totally implausible reason which suggests the speaker is actually clumsy.

Why are you staring? Got a problem with me?

Write this on a white board and give the board a pair of angry eyes. This should inspire humor on first sight.

 The added pair of eyes will make the board appear animate and actually angry about being stared at

I’m not ignoring you. I’m on a socially distant mental holiday… from you

There’s a difference. I would never ignore you but we are all allowed on vacations, aren’t we? This is a nice Joke to write on your white board.

It doesn’t refer to anyone’s perspective and will be easily understood by virtually everyone who reads it.

I put the ‘NIL’ in wisdom

This just may be the funniest joke on this list for your dry erase board. Most people often praise themselves so an insult will be absurd and funny. However, writing this on the board doesn’t mean it refers to yourself.

Firstly, there is no ‘N-I-L’ in wisdom. Secondly, ‘N-I-L’ means zero.

I’m not new. Everyone’s old

This is a nice joke to make as a newcomer in a classroom. When you write this on the board, everyone knows it’s you automatically.

Unless you have been an outcast so early, this should get everyone amused.

Wrap Up

Above are 30 of the best dry erase board jokes you’ll find on the internet. While you can write just any joke on a board, it’s funnier when people can relate to it.

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