20 Funny Answers to "Are You Drunk?"

Clever comebacks are always welcome, especially when faced with an accusing question like 'Are you drunk?' Instead of embarrassment, guilt, or anger, turning the tables with humor can lighten the mood and leave the questioner smiling.Whether pretending to be even more intoxicated than assumed, playing innocent, getting philosophical or just being utterly ridiculous, the art of the funny response when asked 'Are you drunk?' is a time-honored one.From the slightly sarcastic to the shamelessly silly, here are 20 amusing answers that will have everyone laughing instead of lecturing.

20 Funny Answers to Are You Drunk? 

• I'm not drunk. This is just how my personality naturally unfolds.
• Drunk? No officer, it's two drinks past tipsy.
• It depends. How drunk do you want me to be?
• I don't get drunk, I get awesome.
• Drunk? No, no. I'm just experiencing life horizontally.
• Drunk is such an ugly word. I prefer 'enhanced'.
• No, I just have impaired motor skills and heightened confidence.
• What's drunk? Is that some kind of new wine cooler?
• Not drunk enough to face plant, but drunk enough to need attention.
• I'm not drunk, just drink-enhanced.
• I'm slightly intoxicated by your good looks.
• Not yet, but give me time. The night is still young!
• No, my skills and intelligence are just naturally this impressive.
• Only on Tuesdays. What day is it again?
• Only on the inside.
• I'm drunk on life, baby!
• I prefer the term 'pleasantly tipsy.'
• Nope, just European.
• I'm seeing double, but it's worth it.
• Why, are you looking to party? (Wink and raise eyebrow flirtatiously)

1. I'm not drunk. This is just how my personality naturally unfolds 

'I'm not drunk. This is just how my personality naturally unfolds.' is a funny response to ‘Are you drunk?’ that gives the impression that being drunk is not the reason for your behavior.It suggests that you are just naturally goofy, silly, or spontaneous. You are not trying to hide the fact that you might be a little tipsy, but you are also not taking the blame for your behavior.This response can be used in a casual setting such as a party or gathering with friends.For example, someone might ask, 'Are you drunk?' and you could respond with a laugh, 'No, this is just how my personality naturally unfolds.'

2. Drunk? No officer, it's two drinks past tipsy 

'Drunk? No officer, it's two drinks past tipsy' is a witty response to ‘Are you drunk?’ which suggests that you are not drunk but are instead somewhere between tipsy and drunk.It's a humorous way to downplay the level of intoxication. This response can be used in a more formal setting such as a bar or restaurant.For example, if a bartender asks if you have had too much to drink, you could respond with a smile, 'No, officer, I'm just two drinks past tipsy.'

3. It depends. How drunk do you want me to be? 

'It depends. How drunk do you want me to be?' is a comical response to ‘Are you drunk?’ which plays with the idea that there is a level of intoxication that the person asking wants you to be at.\It suggests that you are willing to comply with their expectations if they want you to be more drunk. This response can be used in a playful setting such as a house party or social event.For example, if someone asks if you are drunk, you could respond playfully, 'It depends. How drunk do you want me to be?'

4. I don't get drunk, I get awesome 

'I don't get drunk, I get awesome' is an amusing response to ‘Are you drunk?’ which hints that being drunk is not a negative thing, but rather a way to enhance your personality and experience.It suggests that being drunk makes you more fun, outgoing, and exciting. This response can be used in a more casual setting such as a party or gathering with friends.For example, if someone asks if you are drunk, you could respond with, 'I don't get drunk, I get awesome!'

5. Drunk? No, no. I'm just experiencing life horizontally 

'Drunk? No, no. I'm just experiencing life horizontally' is a funny answer to ‘Are you drunk?’ which is perfect for those times when you want to be humorous but don't necessarily want people to know that you've been drinking.It's a lighthearted way of acknowledging that you might not be quite as steady on your feet as you normally are. For example, you're at a party and your friend asks if you're drunk.You could respond with a smile and say, 'Drunk? No, no. I'm just experiencing life horizontally.'

6. Drunk is such an ugly word. I prefer 'enhanced' 

'Drunk is such an ugly word. I prefer 'enhanced' is a hilarious response to ‘Are you drunk?’ which takes a more positive spin on being drunk. Instead of admitting that you've had too much to drink, you're reframing it as an enhancement.This phrase is perfect for those times when you're feeling particularly happy and carefree after a few drinks. For example, you're out with your friends and someone asks if you're drunk. You could respond with, 'Drunk is such an ugly word. I prefer 'enhanced'.'

7. No, I just have impaired motor skills and heightened confidence 

'No, I just have impaired motor skills and heightened confidence' is also an amusing response to ‘Are you drunk?’. It serves as a play on the classic symptoms of being drunk.Instead of admitting that you've had too much to drink, you're attributing any clumsiness or slurring to something else entirely.For example, you're at a bar and the bartender asks if you're drunk. You could respond with, 'No, I just have impaired motor skills and heightened confidence.' This will likely get a laugh from the bartender.

8. What's drunk? Is that some kind of new wine cooler? 

'What's drunk? Is that some kind of new wine cooler?' takes a more innocent approach to being drunk as a funny response to ‘Are you drunk?’Instead of admitting that you've had too much to drink, you're pretending not to know what it means. This phrase is perfect for those times when you want to play dumb and avoid any potential embarrassment.For example, you're at a family gathering and your aunt asks if you're drunk. You could respond with a grin and say, 'What's drunk? Is that some kind of new wine cooler?'This will likely get a laugh from your aunt and show that you're not taking yourself too seriously.

9. Not drunk enough to face plant, but drunk enough to need attention 

'Not drunk enough to face plant, but drunk enough to need attention' is a comical and slightly self-deprecating response to ‘Are you drunk?’ which is sure to elicit a laugh.The lightheartedness of this answer, in addition to the implication that you have reached a buzzed state requiring supervision to avoid stumbling or causing any real trouble, projects a fun-loving spirit that avoids coming across too defensive or actual impairment.You can imagine saying this while smiling and laughing slightly, defusing any potential awkwardness, as in:Person: 'Are you drunk?'You: 'Not drunk enough to face plant, but drunk enough to need attention.'

10. I'm not drunk, just drink-enhanced

'I'm not drunk, just drink-enhanced' is a very funny response to ‘Are you drunk?’ and is also perfect for those who want to show off their clever wordplay skills.It suggests that you're not drunk, just enhanced by the drinks you've had. For example, you're out with a group of friends and someone asks if you're drunk.You could say, 'I'm not drunk, I'm just drink-enhanced. It's like being supercharged but with alcohol instead of electricity.'

11. I'm slightly intoxicated by your good looks 

'I'm slightly intoxicated by your good looks' is a funny response to ‘Are you drunk?’ and is best used when you want to flirt with someone while also deflecting the question.It relays that you're not drunk but rather intoxicated by the person's attractiveness. For example, you're at a bar and someone asks if you're drunk.You could say, 'I'm not drunk, I'm just slightly intoxicated by your good looks. Can I buy you a drink?'

12. Not yet, but give me time. The night is still young 

'Not yet, but give me time. The night is still young' is an amusing response to ‘Are you drunk?’ when you're just getting started with your night out and don't want to be judged too harshly.It means that you're not drunk yet, but there's plenty of time for that to change.For example,  you're out with some friends and someone asks if you're drunk. You could say, 'Not yet, but give me time. The night is still young.'

13. No, my skills and intelligence are just naturally this impressive

'No, my skills and intelligence are just naturally this impressive' is a hilariously clever response to ‘Are you drunk?’ which is perfect for those times when you're feeling particularly witty and want to showcase your sharp sense of humor.It's a playful way of acknowledging that you've had a few too many drinks while also asserting that you're still in control of your faculties.Example:Person A: 'Hey, are you drunk?'Person B: 'No, my skills and intelligence are just naturally this impressive. But maybe you're just not used to being around someone with such impressive skills.'

14. Only on Tuesdays. What day is it again?

'Only on Tuesdays. What day is it again?' is a hilarious response to the question 'Are You Drunk?' This phrase is perfect for people who want to make light of their inebriated state.It suggests that the person is only drunk on certain days of the week, which is a playful way of admitting to being drunk. The added confusion about what day it is adds an extra layer of humor to the response.For example:Friend: 'Are you drunk?'You: 'Only on Tuesdays. What day is it again?'

15. Only on the inside 

Another amusing response to the same question is 'Only on the inside.' This phrase is clever because it suggests that while the person may not appear drunk on the outside, they feel drunk on the inside.It's a witty way of admitting to being inebriated without actually saying the words 'Yes, I am drunk.'For example:Friend: 'Are you drunk?'You: 'Only on the inside.'

16. I'm drunk on life, baby

'I'm drunk on life, baby' is another hilarious response to the question 'Are You Drunk?' This phrase is best for people who want to joke around and make light of their finished state.It suggests that the person is not actually drunk, but rather they are just really enjoying life. It's a lighthearted way of denying being drunk.For example:Friend: 'Are you drunk?'You: 'I'm drunk on life, baby.'

17. I prefer the term 'pleasantly tipsy.'

Another great response that's sure to get a chuckle as a response to ‘Are you drunk?’ is 'I prefer the term pleasantly tipsy.'This answer is perfect for those who want to acknowledge that they've had a few drinks but don't want to admit to being drunk.It's a playful way of saying that you're feeling good and enjoying yourself, without giving away too much information.Example:Person A: 'You don’t seem okay. Are you drunk?'Person B: 'I prefer the term 'pleasantly tipsy.' And yes, I'm okay. Just enjoying the party and letting loose a little.'

18. Nope, just European

Then there's the classic response of 'Nope, just European.' This answer is perfect for those who want to playfully poke fun at cultural stereotypes.It's a lighthearted way of saying that drinking is a normal part of European culture and that you're just following in the footsteps of your ancestors.Example:Person A: 'Dude, you're wasted. Are you drunk?'Person B: 'Nope, just European. We like to enjoy ourselves and have a good time. Don't judge me for embracing my cultural heritage.'

19. I'm seeing double, but it's worth it 

'I'm seeing double, but it's worth it' is a classic and humorous response to the question 'Are you drunk?' which implies that the person is so drunk that they are seeing two of everything, but they are still having a good time.This response is perfect for situations where someone is intoxicated but wants to play it off as if they are not too bothered by it.For example, a scenario where a friend shows up to a party stumbling and slurring their words. Another friend asks, 'Are you drunk?' The intoxicated friend responds, 'I'm seeing double, but it's worth it!'

20. Why, are you looking to party? 

Another funny response to the question 'Are you drunk?' is 'Why, are you looking to party?' This response is a clever way to turn the question back on the person asking it and make them laugh.It's catchy because it's unexpected and playful, and it can work in a variety of situations.For example, you're at a bar and someone you don't know very well comes up to you and asks if you're drunk. You could respond with 'Why, are you looking to party?'This is likely to catch the person off guard and make them laugh, which can help break the ice and start a conversation.

Well, there you have it!

I hope these 20 funny answers to 'Are you drunk?' have left you feeling inspired and ready to take on the world (or at least your next social gathering).Remember, humor is a powerful tool that can help diffuse awkward situations and bring people together. So don't be afraid to let your wit and charm shine through the next time someone questions your sobriety.Whether you're a master of puns, a lover of sarcasm, or simply enjoy a good old-fashioned dad joke, there's a funny answer for everyone on this list.So, go ahead and bookmark this page for future reference – you never know when you might need a quick comeback to impress your friends or lighten the mood.In closing, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read this article. I hope you found it entertaining and informative, and I look forward to sharing more hilarious content with you in the future.