40 Funny Roasts to Say to Your Ex

Roasting your ex can be a fun thing to do, especially if you both parted on good terms. It helps remove any bad blood and even settle differences that carry over from the end of the relationship. 

In this article, we are going to give you a list of 40 funny roasts you can say to your ex. They are funny, direct, memorable, and carry the right message for them. 

Table of Contents

1. I’m so glad we broke up. Now I can finally find someone who’s not so needy

This funny roast is aimed at an ex who was constantly demanding attention and affection. It implies that the speaker is now free to find someone who is more independent and self-sufficient.

2. Breaking up with you finally made me turn a new leaf

A funny roast that makes fun of your ex by accusing them of being a setback in your life. This roast tells them you have found someone who has given you a reason to become a better person or be better with them.

3. Now we are broken up,  has your lazy behind found someone to clean after you

This funny Roast mocks an ex who was constantly putting off responsibilities or expecting the speaker to do everything for them.

It shows them how happy you are to be free to find someone who isn’t motivated and willing to contribute equally to the relationship.

4. I’m so glad we broke up. Now I can finally find someone who’s not so messy

These Roastis aimed at an ex who was constantly leaving a mess behind them or not taking care of their belongings. It implies that the speaker is now free to find someone who is organized and tidy.

5. I remember our relationship being noisier than the highway

The best way to describe a noisy relationship you are glad is over is this here, it shows you are glad to find some peace now you are done dating them. This tells them of the relief and freedom you are experiencing. 

6. Our relationship was a boring excuse for us to be together

Roasting an ex that was not memorable or needed to happen gets no better than this here. It tells them you now realized your relationship wasn’t good or bad, it just didn’t need to have happened. 

7. If you were not so self-absorbed you wouldn’t have seen me leave

A self-absorbed ex deserves a roast like this. It describes one who was always talking about themselves and never seemed to care about their needs or feelings. This tells them you are happy to be free to find someone who is kind and considerate.

8. You said I was annoying, but I was just glad we broke up

When an ex was used to getting or who was always doing or saying things that got on your nerves, this funny roast is for them. This passes as an indication that you are now free to find someone who is more pleasant and easy to be around.

9. Dating you was so crazy I had to go on a health retreat once I was done

A relationship and an ex that you survived, because they suffered your mental health, deserves this funny roasting

This roast is aimed at an ex who was always acting out or doing strange things. It tells them the effects of being with them were toxic on them. 

10. Good thing about breaking up with you is that, I can find someone who isn’t you

Every breakup leaves a mark, and roasting an ex in a silly way helps to deal with the troubling aspects of this. This roast tells the ex you are okay with the break up because you are free to find a suitable person for yourself.

11. I never knew I was this attractive until I left you

A funny roast that talks about the effect of an ex on your self-esteem is this here. It tells them being with them made you appreciate less about yourself and you are in a better place now.

12. Getting over you made me so successful, thank you

An ex who you don’t want back is deserving of this funny roasting, because it mocks them by saying leaving them made you more successful. This implies they were the reason for your life failures.

13. I found compassion and kindness once we broke up, that says a lot

This Roast is a reminder to your ex who didn’t have any real care shown towards you. It tells them their manipulations have become visible to you now you are apart. Owning this and confronting them about it helps you take back power.

14. You were so predictable when we dated I saw your moves from a mile away

If you had an ex who was manipulative of your feelings, this funny roast is deserving of them. It shows them you have always seen their tactics aimed at you. This tells them you were always ahead of them

15. If you were worthy of my love, we’d still be together

A person worthy of your love will be with you, and this roast proves just that. It is proof to them of the unstable nature of their love for you. This removes any kind of blame they may have thrown your way.

16. Let us continue to stay apart so our soulmates can locate us

This Roast acknowledges an ex as someone who wasn’t needed in your life. It implies that breaking up is the more profitable thing for both of you. 

17. Until I left you, I always thought you were the one

This roast is dipped in regret, it mentions the ex as someone with whom you had hoped for a lasting relationship but couldn’t. It is a way to talk about your past with an ex whom you missed.

18. As the former love of my life, you taught me lessons

One funny roast that suits an ex who taught you lessons is this mentioned here. It tells them the hard lessons you learned from them can’t be easily forgotten soon.

19. Funny how “happy ever after” meant being away from you

Another roast that describes to your ex how leaving them has made more happy is this here. It tells them they were the reason for the many sad days they had. This way, you can call them out for the things they have done to you.

20. Being this happy after a breakup is a clear sign it wasn’t meant to be

This funny Roast is directed at an ex who was so bad they never made you happy while dating. It shows them you have now discovered who you have always meant to be with since leaving them.

21. You were a sore loser when we dated, hope you are better now?

This funny roast is also a jab at an ex who wasn’t their best when you dated them. It’s an indication of their lack of maturity then while hoping they have changed their ways or grown to be better people.

22. You were so full of yourself, there wasn’t any room for a relationship to grow

Exes who were so overbearing in relationships are deserving of this roast. It is a way to call them out for the way they had behaved when you dated them. It blames them for trying to stunt your growth as the reason for the breakup.

23. My sense of humor was diminishing when I was with you

If you have ever dated someone who never had a good sense of humor, it can be a real pain to live with. Telling them this implies that they almost stunted your growth, but you were saved by breaking up with them.

24. Now you are left alone to find who you can control

A funny roast that speaks about the finality of your relationship is this right here, it tells them they only wanted to control you and that is why you left. By leaving you are showing them you won’t fall for such kinf of manipulation.

25. If you clung to me the way you clung to your job, maybe we are dating

Many relationships end for diverse reasons. If you happen to know why yours ended, this roast is used to mock an ex of the reason for the break-up. This roast blames them for the passion for the job above their relationship as the main reason for the breakup.

26. If immaturity was a statement, you wore it proudly while we dated


27. Are you so selfish you can see I’m better now


28. I’m so glad we broke up. Now I can finally find someone who’s not so toxic


29. I’d say I miss you, but I’d be lying


30. I’m so glad we broke up. Now I can finally find someone who’s actually good in bed.


31. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were still alive


32. Do you know i didn’t die when you left me


33. I broke up with you and realized i could do so much better


34. Our breakup has helped me focus on my career.


35. Breaking up became a miracle as i finally found someone who actually loves me.


36. If I knew I would be this happy, I’d have broken up sooner


37. Now I can finally stop listening to your bad music


38. I’m so happy we broke up, I can finally stop eating your cooking


39. Now I can finally stop listening to your snoring, it was torturous


40. All you did was my laundry, so you can keep washing our memories away

Final Verdict

Of course, these are just a few examples of ways you can funnily roast an ex. Understand the best roasts are the ones that are tailored to the specific dynamics in your relationship. 

So, if you’re feeling witty, go ahead and come up with your own roasts. And if you’re not feeling witty, just use one of these. They’re sure to get a laugh out of your ex.

Keep it light. You don’t want to be too mean or hurtful. Be creative. The best ones are often unexpected.

Don’t take yourself too seriously. If you can laugh at yourself, your ex will be more likely to laugh with you.

Have fun with it and remember roasting is a great way to let off some steam and have a little fun.

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