60 Funny Roasts to Say to A Bully

Bullies are not to be tolerated because they can hurt or cause you to become uncomfortable. Roasting a bully is one way to put a boundary between you and their abusive behaviors.

Funny roasts are not confrontational but they have a repelling power that is laced behind the comedic nature of the roast.

Here, we know how important this is to deal with bullies and e have your back with the funniest roasts that will get them laughing at how silly it is. 

Throwing hilarious, silly, or comedic jabs at a bully also has the potential of mending the awkward relationship between them and you. If not mended it will at least put an end to their distracting tactics.

So we have compiled a list of 60 funny roasts to can say to bullies so you don’t run out of things to say. Keep reading.

Table of Contents

60 Funny Roasts to Say to A Bully

  • I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were still alive.
  • I’d say I miss you, but I’d be lying.
  • The only reason you’re picking on me is because you’re too small to pick on your size
  • I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am
  • I’m not sure what you’re trying to achieve here, but it’s not working
  • I’m sorry, I don’t speak bully
  • If you’re going to try to insult me, you’re going to need to do better than that
  • I’m not sure why you’re so mean, but I hope you find happiness someday
  • If I keep letting you bully me are you going to get paid eventually
  • I won’t let you ruin my day. I’m going to go on and have a great day, and you’re going to be stuck being a bully
  • Whatever your problem is, I hope you get help.
  • I don’t have time to deal with your childish behavior maybe try talking to kids
  • I’m going to go now, and I’m not going to let you ruin my day
  • Do you think you can let me go so you can cry alone
  • I’m walking away now, to find someone who will treat me with respect
  • Don’t bully me. I’m going to stand up to you
  • You keep scaring me, ill face you head-on
  • You can’t win if there are no fighters in your family
  • I love myself for who I am, it is funny how you do not love yourself
  • If you control me, you would be a dumb person
  • You can’t bully me anymore, and is funny you are still trying to
  • I’m not going to let you scare me anymore with this clown stuff
  • You can’t win, and you should know this by now
  • Do you know that bullies have been known to have bad breath
  • With how you seek control why not work for the aviation towers
  • I’m not afraid of you, those biceps are filled with water
  • You can drop the act now, no one is going to cheer you on
  • I can’t back down because this ain’t the same rodeo
  • Start again maybe ill get scared the second time.
  • One of us will come out of it alive are you still down?
  • You’re not worth my time try some weights instead
  • This much energy can take you far, shame you here wasting it
  • Is that tears I see in your eyes
  • You’re not worth my anger.”
  • Im afraid you may have to do this till you die
  • My day just got better knowing you can’t do without me
  • If you want to ruin your life that’s fine by me.
  • I have moved on with my life, and you’re going to be left behind
  • do you know I’m going to be successful, and you’re going to be a loser?
  • I’m going to be happy, and you’re going to be miserable
  • It’s funny how you are the bully but I end up laughing in the end
  • Let’s get down to business
  • Since bullying makes you happy, why not take it interstate
  • You must be vying for the title of the most successful bully
  • Your actions show who is lived amongst the both of us
  • I earn my respect, what can you say about yours
  • By now you should know you can’t have everything you always wanted
  • Happiness is never found in a folded fist
  • Tell me, do you plan on winning state champions in bullying
  • You must be training hard to be the best at this
  • You can get to me, I hope you know by now
  • How long before you get old in this game
  • Good to know you already have a bad day
  • How do you get control by doing this often, and still haven’t any lead in life
  • If you feel bad about yourself, you don’t need to let the world know
  • Stop embarrassing yourself by thinking you are scary
  • Acting a fool has never suited bullies
  • What tales does your trauma have for me today
  • You should have a theme song by now with all the strong-arming you have done

1. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were still alive

This dismissive roast shames the bully and their words. It implies that the bully is so insignificant to you, you didn’t even notice them until now.

2. I’d say I miss you, but I’d be lying

This is a sarcastic roast that has a way of being funny both to the bully and to anyone listening. This is a way of telling them you don’t care about the bully at all and that they are not missed.

3. The only reason you’re picking on me is because you’re too small to pick on your size

This roast turns the tables on the bully. It is that the bully is only picking on you because they are scared of facing a worthy person and getting beaten. 

4. I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am

It’s a funny roast that is a way to show the bully you are confident and self-assured. The bully sees that you are not bothered by their words and that you are now confident in yourself.

5. I’m not sure what you’re trying to achieve here, but it’s not working

One Roast that is very dismissive of the bully’s attempts to upset you. It tells them their words are not having the desired effect and they will not get to you.

6. I’m sorry, I don’t speak bully

This roast is a funny way of refusing to engage with the bully. Here you are not going to give the bully the satisfaction of responding to their words.

7. If you’re going to try to insult me, you’re going to need to do better than that

If you want a funny and challenging roast that brushes off a bully, use this here. It implies that you are not easily offended and that the bully is going to have to try harder to offend you.

8. I’m not sure why you’re so mean, but I hope you find happiness someday

A roast that shows compassion for the bully sounds funny coming from you. The idea is to make the bully understands that they are unhappy and you hope they find happiness one day.

9. If I keep letting you bully me are you going to get paid eventually

Another funny roast that makes a joke at the bully is this here. It shows them the unfruitful and unrewarding nature of their activities.

10. I’m not going to let you ruin my day. I’m going to go on and have a great day, and you’re going to be stuck being a bully

You can use this funny roast as a way of refusing to let the bully win. By describing a vivid image of having a great day, no matter what the bully says or does.

11. Whatever your problem is, I hope you get help

Bullies need help from their dysfunction and this funny roast suggests that. It indicates that their behavior is not normal and that they should seek help from professionals.

12. I don’t have time to deal with your childish behavior maybe try talking to kids

This roast dismisses the bully’s behavior as childish. They get the idea that you not going to take them seriously and that they are not going to engage with them.

13. I’m going to go now, and I’m not going to let you ruin my day

A non-confrontational and funny roast means you are walking away from the bully.  It means you are not going to let the bully control you and you are going to remove yourself from the situation.

14. Do you think you can let me go so you can cry alone

 A silly and funny roast to a bully is telling them they are cyr babies and attention seekers. That’s the suggestive implication of this roast.

15. I’m walking away now, to find someone who will treat me with respect

A roast that ensures you stand your ground against a bully is here. It’s a warning to them that you are not going to put up with their behavior and you will find someone who will treat you well.

16. Don’t bully me. I’m going to stand up to you

This funny Roast puts you ahead of a bully by affirming your position.  It shows them you won’t be easily intimidated by them and you will always stand up for yourself.

17. You keep scaring me, ill face you head-on

If you are looking for a funny and confrontational Roast for facing a bully, try this. This tells the bully you are ready for a fight if they try anything and they should back off.

18. You can’t win if there are no fighters in your family

A roast that doubles as a shade in the direction of the bully by mocking their family’s lack of fighters. This proves to them you are not going to allow them to win you and you have the confidence of your family history.

19. I love myself for who I am, it’s funny how you do not love yourself

This Roast is funny and admonishes the bully way of life, citing the lack of love as their primary dysfunction. It mocks them by making silly connections in their effort to keep bullying.

20. If you could control me, you wouldn’t be a dumb person

One roast that mocks the action of the bully is this here. You are telling them you won’t let them bully or control you because they don’t have the mental capacity for that.

21. You can’t bully me anymore, and is funny you are still trying to

This funny roast is a simple way of pointing out the futility of their actions. It paints a worrying scenario of how their action has continued despite seeing no positive results for them.

22. I’m not going to let you scare me anymore with this clown stuff

Try this when you want a Roast that takes power from the bully. It’s an indication of how their previous sacre antics don’t faze you anymore. 

23. You can’t win, and you should know this by now

This Roast is a way of refusing to give up to the bully. They see that you now have a new fighting spirit they should be wary of. 

24. Do you know that bullies have been known to have bad breath

A funny roast that comes across as an insulative fact is saying that bullying leads to bad breath. This isn’t true of course but it tends to repel attacks from them.

25. With how much you seek control why not work for the aviation industry

 

26. I’m not afraid of you, those biceps are filled with water

 

27. You can drop the act now, no one is going to cheer you on

 

28. I can’t back down because this ain’t the same rodeo

 

29. Start again maybe ill get scared the second time.

 

30. One of us will come out of it alive are you still down?

 

31. You’re not worth my time try some weights instead

 

32. This much energy can take you far, shame you here wasting it

 

33. Is that tears I see in your eyes

 

34. You’re not worth my anger.”

 

35. I’m afraid you may have to do this till you die

 

36. My day just got better knowing you can’t do without me

 

37. If you want to ruin your life that’s fine by me.

 

38. I have moved on with my life, and you’re going to be left behind

 

39. Do you know I’m going to be successful, and you’re going to be a loser?

 

40. I’m going to be happy, and you’re going to be miserable

 

41. It’s funny how you are the bully but I end up laughing in the end

 

42. Let’s get down to business

 

43. Since bullying makes you happy, why not take it interstate

 

44. You must be vying for the title of the most successful bully

 

45. Your actions show who is lived amongst the both of us

 

46. I earn my respect, what can you say about yours

 

47. By now you should know you can’t have everything you always wanted

 

48. Happiness is never found in a folded fist

 

49. Tell me, do you plan on winning state champions in bullying

 

50. You must be training hard to be the best at this

 

51. You can get to me, I hope you know by now

 

52. How long before you get old in this game

 

53. Good to know you already have a bad day

 

54. How do you get control by doing this often, and still haven’t any lead in life

 

55. If you feel bad about yourself, you don’t need to let the world know

 

56. Stop embarrassing yourself by thinking you are scary

 

57. Acting a fool has never suited bullies

 

58. What tales does your trauma have for me today

 

59. You should have a theme song by now with all the strong-arming you have done

 

60. If I had a penny every time you failed at bullying, I’d be rich

 

Final Words 

Keep in mind that bullying is never okay, and you should never feel like you have to put up with it. 

If you are being bullied, it’s important to tell a trusted adult, such as a parent, teacher, or counselor. They can help you deal with the situation and make sure that the bullying stops.

It’s important to remember that bullying is never okay, and you should never feel like you have to put up with it.

If you are being bullied, it’s important to tell a trusted adult, such as a parent, teacher, or counselor. They can help you deal with the situation and make sure that the bullying stops.

I hope you find these roasts helpful. 

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