20 Funny Responses to “What Do You Want from Me?”

When someone asks you what you want from them, they’re expecting a truthful answer. Something that can define your relationship with them.

This question can pop up during an argument, during a moment of reflection, or when they’re trying to appease you.

So, when someone asks you this question, they won’t be expecting a funny reply. But, what’s the harm in a little bit of humor?

You can give some funny replies, especially during an argument or anger to help dissipate the anger and tension.

In this article, I’ll be helping with 20 funny responses to give when someone asks you what you want from them.

20 Funny Responses to “What Do You Want from Me?”

There are different funny answers to “What do you want from me?” When someone asks you this question, giving an answer they won’t be expecting can create some fun.

Some of the replies you can give are: “A quiet room and some hamburger,” “For you to disappear,” and “Your firstborn son.”

Here are 20 funny responses 

1. Your kidney.
2. Talk to Netflix to stream some good shows 
3. I want the 90s back
4. A quiet room and some hamburgers 
5. I want you to disappear 
6. Your firstborn son.
7. A billion dollars.
8. A hairless cat.
9. A baby! 
10. A pregnant dog
11. Some peace, with a cold shower 
12. Some intelligent comment
13. Hmm. I don’t think you can give me your life
14. Your big head
15. A trip to your heart
16. You can’t afford it
17. Try to catch the rain 
18. Bread without dough 
19. Breakfast in bed
20. Your head on a plate 

Your Kidney

“Your kidney” is one of the funny answers you can give when someone asks you what you want from them.

It’s a playful way to tease them when they’re angry or frustrated with you. It’s something you say to end the tension and do away with their anger.

Below is how you can use it:

• I want your kidney. I hear they’re selling for over a billion dollars, it’ll help deal with my money problems
• I want your kidney. Kidneys are very healthy meat

Talk to Netflix to Stream Some Good Shows 

Another thing you can say to someone who asks what you want from them is, “Talk to Netflix to stream some good shows.”

This is a good way to divert their attention from what is going on. Maybe they call you for some serious talk that you’re not ready for, you can give this reply to try to create some humor and change the topic.

In the heat of an argument, this funny answer will work appropriately.

Here’s how to use it:

• Talk to Netflix to stream some good shows. That’s the best thing you can do now
• Talk to Netflix to stream some good shows. I’m tired of seeing the same pattern all the time 

I Want the 90s Back 

Another way you can create some humor when someone asks you what you want from them is by replying with, “I want the 90s back.”

This response can be a sincere one. Maybe you’ve been missing the good old days, this response will show how nostalgic you are. However, the fact that it’s an impossible mission is what makes it funny.

It’s a good way to laugh with your old friend and reminisce over the times you shared.

Here’s how to use it:

• I want the 90s back. I miss those days we never had to work
• I want the 90s back. I want to go back to fishing in the lake

A Quiet Room and Some Hamburgers

“A quiet room and some hamburger” is another hilarious reply for someone asking what you want from them.

It’s something that’d work if you’ve gotten tired of an argument with them. If they ask you what you want during a quarrel, you can give this response to call a truce. 

It indicates that you’re tired of arguing and tells them you’re hungry, probably from exchanging words with them. It’s something that’ll surprise them and cause a laugh.

Here’s an example:

• A quiet room and some hamburgers. I’m tired of all the shouting
• A quiet room and some hamburgers. I’m quite hungry now

I Want You to Disappear 

“I want you to disappear” is another funny thing you can say to someone who wants to know what you want from them.

Of course, they know it isn’t possible, but giving this answer with a serious tone and expression can cause some laughter. 

Also, it’s a playful way of telling someone that you’re tired of them. Maybe they’re being a disturbance, you can tell them you’ll be happy when they disappear.

Here’s how to use it:

• I want you to disappear. I’m tired of your tantrums
• I want you to disappear, so I can have some peace 

Your Firstborn Son

“Your firstborn son” is another amusing way to respond to someone who wants to know what you want.

It’s a funny comparison with the story in the Bible. Just like God demanded for the firstborn son of Abraham, you can use the same illustration to create some fun.

Telling someone you want their firstborn son in a serious tone will surely cause some laughter.

Here’s how to use the expression:

• Your firstborn son. Let me sacrifice him for my happiness
• I want your firstborn son. We can get married immediately 

A billion Dollars

“A billion dollars” is another funny answer you can use to tease your friends when they ask you what you want.

Maybe they’re looking for ways to appease you by asking what you want from them, telling them you want this large amount of money can cause some laughter.

They’re going to find it funny, probably because they know they don’t have such an amount, or they know they can’t give it to you even if they have it.

Here’s how to use it:

• I just want one billion dollars. It’ll make me forgive you
• A billion dollars only 

A Hairless Cat

Another funny response to “What do you want from me?” is “A hairless cat.” 

Everyone knows there’s hardly a hairless cat anywhere. So, getting one is almost impossible. This response is a great way to cause some laughter with your loved ones.

For instance, if your friend is trying to seek your forgiveness by asking what you want from them, giving his response will tell them you’re no longer angry.

Here’s how to use it:

• A hairless cat. They’re my new love now
• A hairless cat. I don’t care how you find them, just find them 

A Baby!

“A baby!” is another thing you can say to someone who asks what you want. This response is another funny thing you can say out of the blue to someone trying to get a real answer from you.

When someone asks you what you want from them and you give them this answer, they’re probably going to ask you where you want them to get a baby.

It’ll create a funny scenario, as you can try suggesting how they can get one.

Here’s an example:

• A baby! Let’s try to get you a donor
• A baby! I just discovered how much I want to become an aunt 

A Pregnant Dog

“A pregnant dog” is another reply that’s not impossible to find. However, the ridiculousness of the reply makes it funny.

If you’re in the middle of an argument with someone, or your friend is trying to appease you, asking them for a pregnant dog is a funny thing to say.

They’re first going to be shocked, and then probably get the joke. It’s a cool way to end an argument.

Here’s how to use it:

• A pregnant dog, they’re so cute
• A pregnant dog. I want to get new puppies 

Some Peace, with a Cold Shower 

“Some peace, with a cold shower” is another reply that tells someone you’re tired of arguing or quarreling with them.

It’s appropriate during an argument to let them know you want to end the shouting. Then adding you want a cold shower makes it funny. 

It shows you must have been exhausted from all the shouting.

Here’s how to use it:

• Some peace, with a cold shower. If you can add some music, I’ll be happier
• Some peace, with a cold shower. You’re welcome to join me 

Some Intelligent Comments

“Some intelligent comments” is a response that tells someone that they haven’t been making sense.

It’s a funny way to tease them, especially in front of others. It’ll cause some laughter.

While quarreling with someone, and they scream at you, asking what you want, they definitely wouldn’t see this retort coming.

Here’s how to use the phrase:

• Some intelligent comments. It’d help
• Some intelligent comments. I’m tired of listening to gibberish from you

I Don’t Think You Can Give Me Your Life 

“Hmm. I don’t think you can give me your life” is another hilarious answer to give someone who asks what you want.

This response doesn’t give them a direct answer, but it lets them know that it’s their life you want. And since they can’t offer it, you won’t ask.

Below is an example:

• Hmm. I don’t think you can give me your life. So, don’t worry
• Hmm. I don’t think you can give me your life. Let’s not talk about that

Your Big Head

“Your big head” is a smart way to tease and insult your friends when they ask what you want from them.

This response tells them they have a big head, and that’s the idea of the response. It’ll get a laugh from others around. It’s a cool way to end a quarrel.

Here’s how to use it:

• Your big head. I love it
• Your big head. I hope it fits into my bag

A Trip to Your Heart

Another thing to say to someone who asks for what you want is “A trip to your heart.” 

It’s a playful way to express your feelings to someone you like. So, when a crush pops this question to you, you can give this response to keep them wondering if you’re serious while laughing about it.

Here’s an example:

• A trip to your heart. That’s where I should be
• A trip to your heart, let me feel the beat

You Can’t Afford It

“You can’t afford it” is another amusing answer for someone who asks what you want.

If your friends want to know how to make you happy, this response will make fun of them. Saying it in a lighthearted tone will cause some laughter.

Here’s how to use it:

• You can’t afford it. So, don’t bother, dear
• You can’t afford it. It’s something huge

Try to Catch the Rain 

“Try to catch the rain” is another impossible request to make when someone asks what you want.

It’s something you say to tease a friend and to relieve the tension. You can both laugh over wondering why it isn’t possible.

Here’s how to use it:

• Try to catch the rain. I’m sure it’s not such a hard task
• Try to catch the rain. We should try this experiment 

Bread without Dough 

“Bread without dough” is another hilarious reply for someone who asks what you want.

Everyone knows there’s no bread without dough. The dough is what is baked to become a bread. So, this impossible request is a perfect way to let someone know you’re no longer angry with them.

Here’s how to use the phrase:

• Bread without dough. I want something new
• Bake me some bread without dough. I’d like to watch you try

Breakfast in Bed

“Breakfast in bed” is another funny thing that’d work for a friend or a lover.

When your loved one is trying to seek your forgiveness, you can give this response and be sure to get breakfast in bed.

It’s a playful and sweet way to end a quarrel, and get your breakfast in bed.

Here’s how to use the phrase:

• Breakfast in bed. Remember to add a glass of milk 
• Breakfast in bed. It’ll make me forgive you 

Your Head on a Plate

“Your head on a plate” is another funny thing to say to someone who asks what you want.

It’s something you can use to tease your friend or lover, reminding them that they promised they’d die for you. 

Here’s how to use the expression:

• Your head on a plate. You promised to die for me, remember?
• Your head on a plate. Prove to me that you love me

Final Words

There are many hilarious answers you can give to someone who asks what you want. 

Whether they’re expressing anger or frustration, or trying to appease you, these humorous replies are a great way to dissipate anger and relieve some tension.