There are certain common questions that some people find cringe-worthy and refuse to answer. One of them is ‘Have you lost weight?’. Another example is ‘How much do you weigh?’
These questions are normal and shouldn’t be vexatious but some people find it personal and embarrassing. They are okay with answering to an authority but not to friends and acquaintances.
There are several ways to respond to these kinds of questions, especially ‘Have you lost your weight?’ Here are a few funny options you can borrow or get your ideas from.
20 Funny Replies to “Have You Lost Weight?”
- I’m too careful to lose things.
- I misplaced it temporarily.
- I left it at camp.
- Would you carry me if I had?
- Your silly voice keeps me running.
- No. Would you like to see my weight?
- No way. The little guy is just around the corner.
- Am I Mr. Weight’s keeper?
- Nah. I just did a body upgrade.
- Well, it’s been playing hide and seek with me.
- I sent her on an errand.
- We broke up not quite long ago.
- No. She just moved to where she’s needed.
- She went on vacation.
- I think I left her.
- Would you help me find it?
- No. I threw her out. No regrets.
- She lost me to Treadmillina
- I lent it out.
- Should I have kept her for you?
I’m too careful to lose things.
‘I’m too careful to lose things’ implies that you are very careful with your things so there’s no way you have lost anything. While this statement has a clear interpretation, it is also a clear joke and the interpretation won’t be considered serious.
Most people only ask this question when they think you have lost some weight. His response implies that you haven’t lost weight at all. However, the carefree tone suggests you are just making a joke out of the question.
This will make the person keep pestering you with the same question or he/she simply won’t believe the answer you’ve given.
Have you lost weight?
- I’m too careful to lose things.
I misplaced it temporarily
‘I misplaced it temporarily’ is a funny answer which implies that you ‘kept’ your weight somewhere you can’t remember but you are confident that you will find it soon. It means you may have lost weight but you don’t plan to maintain your new weight or size.
While this is a joke like the example mentioned earlier, this is more believable because it aligns with what the other person already thinks. When people ask this kind of question, they are more prepared to hear ‘Yes’ than an explanation of ‘No’.
This may be interpreted as a simple Yes but it will put a smile on the other person’s face. Also, you don’t necessarily have to be planning to regain weight. You may only say this as a joke for the moment of that conversation.
Have you lost weight?
- I misplaced it temporarily.
I left it at camp.
‘I left it at camp’ is a sweet response that blames ‘Camp’ for the weight you have lost. This is a clear joke since you don’t just pick and drop weight but it’s not ridiculous and will be believed.
Instead of ‘I left it at camp’, you can say ‘I left it at home’ or ‘I left it on the mountain’. People don’t easily notice a change in the weight of someone they see every day. You can replace ‘camp’ with wherever you have been.
Have you lost weight?
- I left it at camp.
Would you carry me if I had?
‘Would you carry me if I had?’ is a silly question that suggests that you don’t want to answer the question but not in an aggressive manner.
Whoever is asking about your weight most likely already believes that you have lost weight and may simply be asking to get into a conversation with you.
If you want to continue the conversation, wear a smile or plain face with this response. If not, you can wear a frown or aggressive look and an inpatient tone. This will show that you don’t appreciate the new topic.
Have you lost weight?
- Would you carry me if I had?
Your silly voice keeps me running
‘Your silly voice keeps me running’ is funny due to its use of words. It means you are blaming the other person’s ‘silly voice’ which has kept you running and has made you lose weight in the process. This is a joke.
While this doesn’t answer the question, the other person can assume that you have truly lost weight. You can give this answer if you simply want to make the other person smile or if you don’t know the answer to the question. It is possible to lose weight without realizing it
Have you lost weight?
- Your silly voice keeps me running.
No. Would you like to see Weight?
This weird response refers to ‘weight’ like a third person. By asking this, you are implying that you haven’t lost Mr. Weight and you can arrange a meeting between the person and ‘Weight’.
The first statement suggests you haven’t lost weight but the entire statement sounds more like you just don’t want to answer the question. The person can conclude that you have lost weight since that is the idea that prompted his/her question in the first place.
Have you lost weight?
- No. Would you like to see Weight?
No way. The little guy is just around the corner.
Here is another example that refers to ‘Weight’ like a third person. Here is a friendly way of avoiding the question or just making the other person smile.
Most people don’t ask the question to get a ‘Yes’ or a ‘No’ from you. Rather, they want to discuss what has made you lose weight or what makes you look like that. In other words, they already believe that you have lost weight.
This response may be followed by another question concerning your weight.
Have you lost weight?
- No way. The little guy is just around the corner. You’ll catch him if you run.
Am I Mr. Weight’s keeper?
This is an allusion to the story of Cain and Abel from the Christian Bible, where Cane says ‘Am I my brother’s keeper?’ when he was asked about his brother, Abel.
His response implied that he was never in a position to watch Abel and so he should not be expected to know where Abel was.
This statement bears the same meaning as the bible story, except ‘Weight’ is characterized as a third person in this statement. It implies that you are not supposed to keep ‘Weight’ so you didn’t lose Weight.
Have you lost weight?
- Am I Mr. Weight’s keeper?
Nah. I just did a body upgrade
This is a funny way to say ‘Yes. I lost weight but intentionally’. While some people consider it right to have so much weight, many are not interested in it. Some work to lose weight while we work to add weight. Others work to stay in shape.
This statement may sound slightly ridiculous but it still makes sense. When you say a person has lost weight, it’s often interpreted as a result of malnutrition or stress but it isn’t always the case, especially for someone who is actively working to lose weight.
This statement implies that you worked hard to lose weight and get the kind of body you want for yourself.
Have you lost weight?
- Nah. I just did a body upgrade.
Well, it’s been playing hide and seek with me.
This is another funny answer to the question of whether or not you’ve lost weight. If you know the concept of the hide-and-seek game, then you may have a good idea of what this means.
This statement implies that your looks have been unstable for a while. In other words, you may appear as though you’ve lost weight at the moment and look as though you’ve doubled in size in the next few days.
You may also just use this statement as a joke without having an interpretation for it. When we lose weight, there are times when we can’t tell for ourselves unless others notice.
Have you lost weight?
- Well, it’s been playing hide and seek with me.
I sent her on an errand.
Here is a beautiful and funny response to the question concerning your weight. Weight’ plays the third-person role in this statement.
This statement may mean that you have actually lost weight but you intentionally reduced your size. However, this is if you want to give it an interpretation.
In most cases, this kind of reply is only said for the sake of being funny. You can simply give this quick response if it sounds nice to you whether you think you lost weight or not.
Have you lost weight?
- I sent her on an errand.
We broke up not quite long ago.
Weigh’ is a third person in this statement once again. This is another funny response to ‘Have you lost weight?’ which may be said for the sake of being funny but has a clear interpretation.
Unlike some other funny responses on the list which require deep thinking for understanding, this statement is easily interpreted. While it is funny, the other person can also assume you are being serious.
This statement implies that you recently let your heavy weight go. In other words, you intentionally lost weight not long earlier.
Have you lost weight?
- We broke up not quite long ago.
No. She just moved to where she’s needed.
This is a suitable response for curvy ladies. If you’re not a lady or you’re not curvy, you can think of a different interpretation for this. This statement implies that you may have lost weight but you didn’t lose weight. Rather, you moved it elsewhere.
The first interpretation for curvy ladies is that you move the weight to the curvy parts of your body away from where they are not needed. If you’re not curvy, then you leave us wondering where exactly you put the fat.
Have you lost weight?
- No, she just moved to where she’s needed.
She went on vacation.
It’s safe to say you didn’t lose Miss Weight. She simply went on Vacation. This statement could be given a meaning and, like many of the others, may be said for the sake of being funny.
This statement implies that you lost weight and not for the beauty of it but due to one reason or another. However, you are confident that you will regain your weight since ‘She only went on vacation’.
Again, this statement is a funny line for a quick retort and you don’t have to give it a meaning.
Have you lost weight?
- She went on vacation.
I think I left her.
Here’s another line for a quick retort but it can be given a meaning. This may mean that you’ve been trying to control your weight loss. In most situations, people try and find it hard to control weight gain but it is not always the case.
There are situations where a person is losing weight rapidly and wants it to stop.
Some people lose weight intentionally or unintentionally and look good with it while others lose weight and look horrible with it.
Have you lost weight?
- I think I left her.
Would you help me find it?
Here is a rhetorical question that is only or mostly suitable as a quick retort. Many people consider the ‘weight’ question personal and may get pissed when they are asked.
If the question irritates you, you can respond with this rhetorical question. Your weight is no one’s business anyway.
Have you lost weight?
- Would you help me find it?
No. I threw her out. No regrets.
As stated earlier, people lose weight intentionally. Not everyone likes to be massive while some do not want to be lean.
This statement implies that you didn’t lose weight but you let go of it on purpose and you’re not thinking of taking ‘her’ back.
Have you lost weight?
- No. I threw her out. No regrets.
She lost me to Treadmillina
You may want to clarify things and let the questioner know that you didn’t lose Miss Weight but Miss Weight lost you. Now, you have a new deer called ‘Treadmillina’.
It’s up to you to introduce who Treadmillina is to whoever cares to know.
Have you lost weight?
- She lost me to Treadmillina
I lent it out.
Here is a funny response suitable as a quick retort but you may also give it an interpretation if you want. It may mean that you chose to lose weight temporarily. It may also have no meaning.
Have you lost weight?
- I lent it out.
Should I have kept her for you?
This is a nice retort but it can be easily interpreted as a detest for your previous heavyweight. Not everyone likes to look massive so people intentionally lose weight.
This statement implies that you never planned to keep a heavyweight. You are asking the questioner to go and gain his/her weight.
Have you lost weight?
- Should I have kept her for you?
Conclusion
If you consider questions about weight gain or weight loss annoying, you may want to give savage responses like some mentioned above.
You may also just want to give a funny response while simultaneously answering the question. Pick your answers from the list above.
