It is said that Love is blind and that it makes the world go round; but what happens when love goes wrong?
Relationship is a two-way street – this means that no matter what type of relationship it is, the people involved need to work together to make it work.
There are times in a relationship when one person in the relationship is the one giving and doing everything while the other person just benefits.
Such a relationship is parasitic, and it is said one person is using the other. If you see a person who has sacrificed a lot in a relationship and is still abandoned, what do you say to such a person?
The truth is that he or she has been used and will need words of encouragement, so what do you say to such a person? In this article, we have listed twenty (20) things you can say to a person who feels used.
20 Things to Say When Someone Feels Used
- Know your worth
- Be confident
- Don’t feel less of yourself
- You’re not dumb
- Don’t be sad
- Let go of the betrayal
- Just forgive
- You’ll find love
- You’ll heal
- Give yourself a break
- Don’t let it define you.
- So sorry you went through all that problem.
- Don’t beat yourself up.
- I understand exactly how you feel.
- You will get over it.
- The ‘feeling’ is temporary.
- I’m here for you, If you feel anyone to unburden yourself, I’m a call away.
- Take your time sweetheart, You are fabulous and one day you will find just the perfect person.
- It could have been worse; in the near future, all these will be a distant and forgotten memory.
- He/she does not deserve you, at least you have learnt a lot from this experience.
Know your worth
If you have ever been in a relationship with a narcissist, one thing you’ll realize is that they have the uncanny talent to make a person lose their worth and question themselves.
Such a person will need lots of therapy and healing before they find the strength to leave and be comfortable in their own skin. If you have someone in that situation and you wish to be a good friend, you can remind them to know their worth.
If they have forgotten who they are or what they deserve, let them know that they are worth every good thing.
We may be pretend all we want but not everyone who pretends to be confident is actually confident. When a person has been used, something dies inside of them.
They may appear to be confident, but deep down they know that they’re battling with their esteem. They need to be constantly reminded to be confident until they funny regain their self-confidence.
So, the next time you see someone who’s been used, remind them to be confident and beautiful.
Don’t feel less of yourself
In all things, we must learn to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt and not to beat ourselves up about the littlest of things. However, it’s a pity that not everyone is aware of that truth.
People who have stayed in a toxic relationship may have the tendency to always question themselves. This is because over the years they have been put in positions and told things that have made them second-guess themselves.
Overcoming that will not be a day’s journey. However, when you meet such a person, remind them not to feel less of themselves.
You’re not dumb
Yes, you’re not dumb.
It is unfortunate that when a person has a good heart, they’re either called dumb or stupid. No matter how unintelligent a person is, there are still some things they’re good at.
Good people most times end up with selfish partners who see their goodness as being dumb or a simp. If you ever come across a person who feels used and blames their goodness, please remind them that they’re not dumb.
Don’t be sad
Sadness is usually a product of being disappointed by someone’s betrayal. The betrayal may be by someone you had trusted. So, when you realize that the relationship had been based on lies and that the person was using you, you tend to feel sad.
The sadness does not just go away, it is a process. If you see a person who feels used or you witness your relative or friend being used by another person, you can tell them ‘Don’t be sad’.
Let go of the betrayal
Usually, when a person is in love or simply loves a person, they are blind to certain things. They do not realize they are being used until it becomes late, and they are trauma bonded or they lose everything.
In such instances, the best thing to do is to let go of the betrayal and move forward. That way, they can move forward and not have anything hold them back.
So, next time that you are in a position to encourage a person who feels used, you can tell them to let go of the betrayal.
Forgiveness is mandatory as part of living because people tend to offend us every day even people we love. It is never always easy and most times the person will need time to adjust.
But it’s necessary because it helps the person to move forward. When you see a person who feels used, you can tell them to ‘just forgive’ so that they can heal.
You’ll find love
This statement ‘you’ll find love’ is usually said to a person whose heart was broken by who they loved. They may have been betrayed by their spouse or lover.
Such betrayal can make the person give up on love forever. Whilst you allow the person to heal, it is wise to remind them that they will find genuine love again and that they should be hopeful.
The heartbreak that a person gets from being used does not just go away. Depending on how deep the emotional connection was, it could take a long time for the person to heal.
It is not your duty to tell them when they should heal or how they should heal. You are simply supposed to encourage them and stay with them through the healing process.
Thus, when you see a person who feels used, be sure to tell them ‘you’ll heal’ as a way of assuring them this phase will pass.
Give yourself a break
The worst thing a person can do after feeling is overwork themselves as a way to deal with the pain. Some go as far as committing suicide. Others simply overthink and deprive themselves of sleep.
While the person who used them has moved forward, they are left behind trying to handle all the baggage that comes with the heartbreak.
When you meet such a person, it is good to remind them to take a break cause it is not the end of the world. Thus the statement give yourself a break’ is the best thing you can say to someone who feels used.
Don’t let it define you
After staying in a toxic relationship, people tend to allow it to define them. This means that by staying in the relationship, the toxic partner convinces them that they are the problem.
This pattern follows them after they have left the relationship. Even after they have found a great partner, they always blame themselves even in the slightest issue.
They have unconsciously allowed that narrative to define them. This is why the statement ‘Don’t let it define you’ is one of the best things you can say to someone who feels used.
So sorry you went through all that problem.
When someone is sharing their pain with you, the best thing you can do is imagine how they must have felt. Well, unless you have been in a similar situation.
Most times people are advised that no matter how much they want to share in someone else’s pain, they should avoid saying that they understand how the person feels.
While sympathizing with a person who feels used, you should simply say ‘I am sorry you had to go through all that’ before you proceed to lend a listening ear if they need one.
Don’t beat yourself up
When a person beat up on themselves, they blame themselves too much for the failure of something. Sometimes when a relationship fails, one of the parties thinks that it is their fault even when it is not.
Sometimes these people do not even see that they were used while they were in the relationship. It may be an absence of self-love, but they beat themselves up about it.
It is good that you remind them not to beat themselves up so that they can let go and move on.
I understand exactly how you feel.
Only a person who has been in a relationship where he/she was used can understand exactly what another person who is in a similar situation feels. When you tell a person that you understand exactly how they feel, they will want to hear your story.
Hearing your own story will make them not feel alone. It will also help them heal faster knowing that someone else has passed through the same thing. They may also learn a thing or two about how you overcame, it and apply it to overcome theirs.
You will get over it.
This statement ‘You will get over it’ is more of an assurance than it is an encouragement. You are confident that no matter the depth of the pain they feel or what they are going through, they will get over it.
It is good that you are confident cause at that point that is probably what they need. You could lend them a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear but don’t ever forget to tell them that it will be alright.
The ‘feeling’ is temporary.
When a person feels that they have been used and his/her heart is broken, they will assume that the pain will never go away. They may become depressed and decide to stay away from everyone.
When you meet such a person, remind them that that feeling of being used and hurt is just temporary and they will definitely heal.
I’m here for you, If you feel anyone to unburden yourself, I’m a call away.
There’s nothing more comforting than knowing that a person will stand by you when you are going through a tough time. Just the knowledge that someone will help you through a heartbreak makes the pain a lot less.
That is if you are opportune to speak to a person who feels used, assure them that you will always be there for them if they need you.
Take your time sweetheart, You are fabulous and one day you will find just the perfect person.
The healing process of a person who is heartbroken should not be rushed in any way. They should not be asked to get under someone to get over another person.
Always advise them to take time to heal so that they can finally let all the baggage go. Then remind them that they are special and fabulous and with time the right person will find them.
It could have been worse; in the near future, all these will be a distant and forgotten memory.
No matter how a person hurts you, always bear at the back of your mind that it would have been worse. They may have been an obsessive psychopath out for blood or even worse.
Another worst-case scenario is that you would not have even left the relationship until the person had drained you. But the good news is that you are out of the relationship and on your way to healing.
Therefore, if you ever have to speak to a person who feels used, remind them of the above and also let them know that with time all the pain and hurt will be a distant memory.
It is never easy for a person who is dealing with heartbreak or who is mourning the loss of a relationship with someone they once truly loved. At times like that, they may need a person to talk to.
If you happen to be that person, you should know the right things to say. We have given you up to twenty (20) things you could say to a person who feels used. You can pick any one or two of the above statements.